Effective communication is critical to the success of every marriage. Furthermore, a married couple who knows how to communicate effectively with one another, reduces their chance of getting divorced.
In my experience, we all need to know our WHY for doing something before we even attempt to do it to the best of our ability. Your WHY is what will motivate you to achieve whatever goals you as a married couple set. In addition, your WHY will help you overcome the struggles and hindrances you will face while working on your goals.
And as a married person like you, learning how to communicate effectively with my wife is one of the most important goals in my life. I work very hard on this goal each day. To be honest, it was not easy in the early months of our marriage. But the simple communication strategies my wife and I implemented made all the difference in our marriage.
If learning how to communicate with your spouse is not one of your life goals, below are 9 reasons why you should make it a priority today!
Why Every Married Couple Should Learn to Communicate
1. Fewer conflicts and arguments.
Conflicts and arguments are inevitable in marriage. But how you deal or resolve them will depend largely on how you communicate with each other.
For example, last week, I had a discussion with my wife, Ashley. It started out as a great discussion talking about our different views on whether to continue a project we are both working on. I had the view of not continuing the project while Ashley thought otherwise.
At some point during our conversation, Ashley was angry because she felt we would have wasted time and effort if we decided to discontinue this project. She was very unhappy about my thoughts.
She began getting emotional and angry, but before she erupted, she told me she needed time alone to cool down. I obliged and she left the room. After about 20 minutes, she came back and we continued the conversation. Because she took the time to calm down, she came back in a better mood and that helped us to continue our conversation without having a heated argument in front of our kids. We were able to come up with a better solution for the project and neither of us said things we had to later regret or hurt each other in the process.
If this situation had happened during the first few months of our marriage, we would have had a very heated argument with yelling and shouting. But because we have learned through trial and error that taking time to cool off is essential to us communicating effectively, she did just that. And l was okay with it too.
2. Connecting with each other as a married couple becomes second nature.
We all have positive and negative feelings. As you know, your spouse will be the closest person to share those feelings with. When it comes to marriage, how you communicate with each other plays a huge role on how you connect with your spouse.
You will connect well with each other, feel secured, and not hurt your spouse if you know how to communicate with them through their love language.
Your spouse will not feel you are a complaining or whining. There will be no place for stonewalling, criticism, being defensive, name-calling, insults, or rolling of the eyes. You will be able to share your feelings with your spouse without feeling rejected. You will be able to share your feelings with your spouse without feeling rejected.
Learning how to communicate effectively with our spouse on the many topics of our lives helps us to become deeper connected on a level that will have no equal with any other relationship we have.
3. Because your spouse can not read your mind!
Have you been in a situation where you thought your spouse was going to do something, but they don’t do it. And you got frustrated, angry, or even thought, ” But that is common sense.”
The sad truth is this: Our spouse does not know what we are thinking about. They will never know what we are thinking about until we communicate it to them. Instead of assuming your spouse is going to do something, why not ask them?
4. It builds trust.
Trust is such an important block in a marriage foundation. Communication and trust go hand in hand. In my experience, communication is key to building and maintaining trust with your spouse.
5. Money problems reduce.
When it comes to talking about money, we all know it can be a tricky conversation. Money fights and problems is a major reason why married couples get divorced. Learning how to communicate about finances in marriage will open up your communication on levels you didn’t know was possible.
Money fights and problems is a major reason why married couples get divorced. Learning how to communicate about your finances will open up your communication on levels you didn’t know was possible.
6. You will have a say in everything that goes on in your relationship.
Have you heard of the stories where a husband or wife buys a new car or house without their spouse knowing about it? At the very least, it is due to the lack of communication in their marriage. There is either fewer or no communication going on.
7. Sex becomes better.
Have better sex, be more intimate. You can communicate you sexual needs and be able to have a more fulfilling intimacy with your spouse.
For example, if you crave sex more than your spouse, it’s only through communication that you can resolve this issue. If you want to try new things in the bedroom, it’s only through communication that your spouse will be able to meet your needs.
8. Reflect a positive attitude.
You will have a positive attitude towards your spouse and in your marriage. Being content in your marriage will pour into other aspects of your life. You will not have negative or hostile intentions when you communicate with your spouse. Your resentment will even disappear. This will help you communicate in a respectful and loving manner. You will be satisfied.
You will not have negative or hostile intentions when you are able to communicate well with your spouse. Your resentment will even disappear. A positive attitude will help you communicate in a respectful and loving manner. You will be satisfied.
9. Empathetic listening becomes a habit.
You see, communication involves sending and receiving messages, and understanding those messages. To be able to understand what your spouse says, you have to put yourself in their shoes. And that involves learning how to communicate with your spouse.
You will have to listen to them, understand what your spouse says. There will not be misunderstandings because you will be able to ask for clarification during your conversation.
The above nine reasons are some of the important reasons why you should learn how to communicate with as a married couple. In fact, learning how to communicate with your spouse must be a goal you pursue every single day. Needless to say, start pursuing this goal TODAY.
If you find it difficult communicating as a married couple, check out my book titled: Communication in Marriage: How to Communicate With Your Spouse Without Fighting. Ashley and I co-authored this book to help married couples communicate better.
What other reasons would you add to this list? Share your reasons in the comments below.
I’m a husband and father and I love spending time with my family. I enjoy cooking, watching/playing sports, reading, and helping people achieve their goals in life.
Together with my wife, I help newlyweds adjust to married life, inspire married couples to improve their marriage and host the First Year Marriage Show podcast.
In addition, I co-authored: “Communication in Marriage: How to Communicate with Your Spouse Without Fighting” to help married couples communicate better.
You can learn more about me and see more of my writing at www.ourpeacefulfamily.com