Because my husband has recently come home from deployment, I am taking a blogging break. Today I have Kris from “The New Normal” guest posting about her own homecoming! Hope you enjoy!

I’m so thrilled to be guest posting for Kathryn as she enjoys her well deserved Homecoming with her husband! Welcome home!!

Kris & her husband

Homecoming is such an incredible time, full of emotions and joy! My husband’s homecoming is still fresh in my memory, only having been about five months ago.  It is hard to believe that it has already been that long since I welcomed him home from Iraq and finally felt that hole in my heart begin to fill again.

Thinking of Homecoming brings back a myriad of memories and emotions. First, the feelings of excitement as the date drew closer, but also the anxiety of not knowing exactly when it would be. Plans changed so frequently with date changes, flight times being rearranged and then of course the inevitable delay on the actual arrival day. At times it felt like we were living in limbo, not really knowing how to schedule our days because at any time hopefully we would receive the much anticipated phone call announcing their impending arrival. There was also the stress of wanting everything to be perfect when you were finally reunited. From hurrying to get the house clean to completing last minute projects, and of course the all important homecoming outfit chosen, the days leading up to Homecoming was an exciting, but stressful time.

Despite the excitement, stress and anxiety that can lead up to the actual Homecoming day, the day itself for me was one of the best memories I have ever experienced. I felt like I was walking on air and was a bundle of nerves as I walked into the hangar to await the arrival of the buses. The families gathered with their signs and balloons, sharing deployment survival stories as we all waited. And waited. Our soldiers’ flight was delayed over an hour and we were all beginning to get antsy! One wife was receiving text updates from her husband and would inform the rest of us as to their whereabouts, which only made the anticipation even more unbearable! The moment we finally saw the buses arrive outside the hangar is when I began to get nervous, with a hundred different thoughts running through my mind: “What if I can’t find him?” “What will he think when he sees me?” “How will I react when I see him?” “I think I’m going to cry!” My thoughts were only interrupted by the banging on the hangar door and then the deafening roar of the crowd as our soldiers marched in formation toward us. And I did cry. In fact I lost it completely! A few words were said and then we were finally released to be reunited with our soldiers. My memory at this point is pretty hazy, but I’m pretty sure I may have about trampled a few people in my haste to get to my husband! I wasn’t quite that bad, but after 10 months apart, I couldn’t reach his waiting arms quickly enough. And once I did, there was no one in that hangar but my husband and me.

Being back in his arms, the world felt right once again. Safe. Complete. It was all finally over and we had survived. We had not only survived, but we had thrived. The separation made our marriage stronger and our family more appreciative of the time we have together. Thinking about homecoming still gives me chills and brings tears to my eyes. The anticipation, the joy, the relief…it was definitely the prize at the end of a long deployment.

Kris is an Army National Guard wife and mom of two. She started her blog, The New “Normal”, when her husband left for deployment to Iraq last year. What began as a way to keep her husband connected to life at home has turned into so much more! From the support and friends that have been gained to the amazing opportunities that have come through blogging, it has been quite a journey! In addition to blogging, Kris is a 1st grade teacher, runner and wanna-be photographer.

Because my husband has recently come home from deployment, I am taking a blogging break. Today I have Mandi from My Perfect Mess guest posting for me. Mandi has a special place in my heart as we have known each other in the blogging world for quite awhile now and we also met in person last fall (you can read all about that here: Online friends: Meeting Mandi). Mandi’s post is very unique because she talks about life as  Missionary. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did and also that you pray for their family when you think of it.

Some things don’t change no matter where you live… kids get sick, cars breakdown, dinner still needs to be made. But other things are definitely different!

7:45 – My alarm goes off and I look at the window to see if it’s sunny or cloudy. This morning it’s cloudy. That’s good. I decide to leave our air conditioned bedroom to enjoy the “cool” morning. We only have air conditioners in the bedrooms and they are only powerful enough to keep the room nice. But even if they did cool the entire house the electricity is too costly (three times as much as in the States) so we can only afford to run them at night while we sleep. My daughter’s bed is in our room so we only need to run one air conditioner at night.

I quietly leave the bedroom trying not to wake my daughter up. I head into the living room/dining room/kitchen (it’s one big open room) and open all the windows and doors. Got to let that “cool” air in as soon as possible! I make a pot of coffee and sit down at the kitchen table to read my Bible.

8:15 – I grab a cup of water and my laptop to catch up on Words with Friends.

8:30 – My daughter starts to whine (she is three years old) so I go into the bedroom to get her up, turn off the air conditioner and open the windows.

Maddy takes off her diaper and goes to the potty. Maybe it will be a good day of potty training!

I get her a cup of milk and turn on PBS… Super Y is on… she’s happy.

8:50 – Breakfast. Nutella on toast and a banana for Maddy. A bowl of cereal for me.

9:00 – I put a load in the washing machine then sit down to check Facebook, read my emails and waste a minute or two on Pinterest while simultaneously planning my day and talking to my husband about his day.

We hear monkeys outside. Maddy jumps off the couch excitedly yelling “Monkeys!!! Mommy let’s see the monkeys!!!” So outside we go to watch the monkeys eat seeds from the palm trees and play.

9:20 – Pick up the house a little, wash some dishes and get dressed.

Get Maddy dressed too.

10:30 – Go grocery shopping. It’s a Thursday which is when all of the shelves are freshly stocked. If we don’t get milk today it won’t be there tomorrow. We go to two grocery stores to get everything on my list… plus they have jalapenos! Yay! I rarely find them so I buy a bunch when they are in stock.

12:00 – Back home to unpack the groceries and make lunch. Grilled cheese for Maddy. Leftover stir-fry for my husband and me.

1:00 – My husband drives into town to check on our visas. We are leaving for a conference in the States (soooooo excited about that) and we need our passports back to get into America. But we need our visas done so we can get back into St. Kitts. It’s been two months and we still don’t have our visas. I sure hope we get them soon.

1:10 – The power goes out.

1:13 – Maddy poops in her panties. So I guess this isn’t going to be a good potty training day after all.

1:30 – The power comes back on. Good… a 20 minute outage is not bad.

Now that the power is on I need to decide what to do with the load in the washer. Line dry them or put them in the dryer… one saves on electricity and the other makes our clothes soft.

I compromise. I hang the towels up and put everything else in the dryer.

2:00 – Nap time. I tuck Maddy in her bed, close the windows and turn on the air conditioner in hopes that she will actually sleep this time. I even bribe her with a piece of chocolate cake… if she naps she can have some. Here’s hoping it works.

In the meantime, I pull out my lesson text to study for tonight’s Good News Club. I am teaching the Bible lesson about praising God and how the people praised Jesus when he rode into the temple on a donkey.

3:00 – My husband comes back from checking on our visas. They aren’t ready. I’m not surprised.

I hop in the shower since I didn’t have time for one in the morning. Maddy isn’t sleeping. After I get dressed I remind her about the chocolate cake. I really hope she takes a nap. We are going to be out late tonight.

4:00 – Fold the clothes from the dryer. Take the towels off the line and put them away.

Maddy still isn’t sleeping. It’s going to be a fun night.

4:15 – Take a moment to read some blogs, check Facebook again and mess around on Pinterest.

4:45 – Fix a quick dinner. Baked potatoes with different toppings.

5:00 – Get Maddy up… she never did go to sleep but thinks she can still have chocolate cake. It takes a few minutes of explanation before she understands why she can’t have any.

We eat dinner. Maddy still wants chocolate cake. Oh boy… my bribe seems to have backfired.

5:50 – Pack everything for Good News Club and head out the door.

6:30 – After a very bumpy drive we get there and get set up.

7:00 – Good News Club is supposed to start but we are on “island time”… most of the kids are at least 15 minutes late and others drag in until half the club is over.

However, the kids are great! They get really involved and other than a few we have to quiet down, things go really smoothly!

8:30- Club is over so we pack everything up and head back home. 30 minutes of pot holes, twists, turns and more pot holes.

9:20 – We’re home! Maddy wants milk and chocolate cake.

9:30 – Maddy goes to bed. (Without chocolate cake).

My husband and I have some time to talk about how Good News Club went and any changes we need to make for next week.

10:00 – I start a blog post for our missionary blog but I’m too tired. I’ll have to do it tomorrow. I pick up the house, wash a few dishes and get ready for bed while watching an episode of How I Met Your Mother with my husband.

10:30 – My husband and I watch an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond then close all the windows and lock our doors.

11:00 – Go to bed. As I lay in the bed our flood light comes on outside… it’s motion censored. I wonder if it’s just the wind, an animal or maybe a burglar. I listen for any strange noises then say a prayer and go to sleep.

St. Kitts is a beautiful island but living here is completely different than going on vacation! The power outages, internet outages, crime, heat and other inconveniences living here are worth it to be used by the Lord! If anything, it sure makes us appreciate life in America in a whole new way!

Mandi lives with her husband and three year old daughter in St. Kitts & Nevis in the West Indies. She and her husband are missionaries with Child Evangelism Fellowship and will be living in the Caribbean for at least two years. Mandi is originally from Texas and moved to Montgomery, Alabama when she married her husband almost five years ago. If you would like to keep up with Mandi and her family as they minister to kids in St. Kitts & Nevis you can visit their blog, A Moment with the Millers. (Mandi had to take a break from her personal blog My Perfect Mess since moving overseas but you can still visit it for previous recipes, stories and faith-based posts).

Because my husband has recently come home from deployment, I am taking a blogging break. Today I have my real-life and blog friend Natalie guest posting from her blog Oven Love! Natalie has always wowed me with what she can cook from scratch and with her healthy eating recipes. I hope you enjoy her post and I hope you will head over to her blog and look at all the fun recipes she has there!

Photo taken by Natalie

Hi, Singing Through the Rain readers! I’m Natalie from Oven Love and I’m thrilled to be guest posting for my friend Kathryn today. Unlike most of my blogging friends, I have the pleasure of knowing Kathryn in real life.  We met about two years ago through a mutual friend shortly after my husband and I arrived at Robins AFB (we are also a military family). At the time, she was pregnant with Adam and I just had my first son a few months earlier. We didn’t find out until later that we were both bloggers with a lot of the same interests. Kathryn is one of the strongest, most faithful women you’ll find and it is an honor to call her a friend.

My husband has been in the Air Force for four years (plus four more if you count USAFA) and I’ve been right alongside him the whole time. We are extremely fortunate that his career field does not deploy often, and he has not been deployed yet. Though he hasn’t deployed yet, he does spend a lot of time traveling on TDY (Temporary Duty). Believe me, I know that TDYs are not the same as deployments, but any time away from your husband is difficult, even if you’re not in the military. And it gets even more complicated when you add kids to the picture.

One of the things I find difficult when my husband is gone is eating well. I don’t go to the grocery store as often, I try to get by on pantry and freezer items, I don’t make many full meals and we usually end up eating out more than usual. Does this happen to anyone else? It just seems like too much work to pull real meals together when he’s away.

As I was thinking about this a while back, I realized that I used to eat very healthily in college when I was cooking for one. This motivated me to get back into cooking while my husband is away and to find recipes that are easy and nutritious. Here are some of my tips for healthy eating during deployments, TDYs and any other alone times:

• Get out of your breakfast rut. Cereal is easy, but it’s not the most nutritious option for your morning. Try keeping some eggs around for a quick scramble or make up some frozen fruit smoothie bags. Another idea is to make some mini frittatas, quiche or batch of baked oatmeal and eat it throughout the week. You can also freeze bacon or breakfast sausage in smaller quantities (just a few links or strips) and defrost the night before for extra protein.
• Don’t forget to eat lunch! I usually end up snacking instead of lunching while my husband is gone. If you’ve got kids, you’re the only one on duty in the afternoon, so you need to restore your energy with a good lunch. Keep your fridge stocked with salad greens, a few types of cheeses and your favorite veggies. Top them with a single grilled chicken breast for a protein-packed salad, or wrap them up in a tortilla with your favorite lunch meat. I love frozen burritos for lunch, too. Add a serving of fruit and you’re ready to conquer the rest of your day.
• Utilize your freezer. I love my freezer! It’s great for portion control. You can make larger batches of your favorite soups and sauces and store them in single-sized portions. Apply this idea to your meat and baked goods as well. You can still buy items in larger quantities if you are smart about the way you store them. Just bring home your bulk purchases, separate them into single servings and freeze for easy meals later.
• Adapt your menu planning. Since you can’t freeze everything, it’s good to have a plan for all of your fresh produce. When you’re planning your grocery trip, find a few recipes with similar ingredients so your fresh food doesn’t go bad. Take tomatoes, for instance: you could chop them up in a breakfast omelette, have a BLT for lunch, and roast them as a side dish with some sauteed meat or fish on various days during the week.
• Try farmers’ markets. Farmers’ markets are great because you can buy fresh items in smaller quantities. I find that shopping at farmers’ markets also helps met to eat with the seasons and gets me out of my cooking ruts. It’s also a good way to stay busy and get the kids out of the house!
• Keep a stocked pantry. We all have days where we don’t want to cook. These are common when you’re alone. Be prepared with great pantry staples so you’re not always turning to PB&J. In the pantry, my favorite items are jarred marinara sauce, pasta, rice, chicken broth (I keep these broth packets), nut butter and canned beans. For the fridge, I recommend eggs, butter, plain yogurt, milk, a variety of cheeses, condiments, salad greens. In the freezer, meat in individual portions (bacon, chicken breast, ground beef, pork chops), frozen vegetables, pizza dough, pie dough and frozen fruit.
• Some other helpful resources- Everyday Food for One, Cooking For One and Practical Cooking for One.

I hope these tips will help you to eat healthy, whole foods even when you’re on your own. For more great recipes, come on over to Oven Love and say hello!

Because my husband has recently come home from deployment, I am taking a blogging break. Please enjoy this post from a lovely lady – Jen from Beyond the Cammies about deployment and her reservist family.

My husband spent four years as an active duty Marine. Wanting to raise our children close to family, Jen and her husband decided to move back to their hometown in Central, IL. My husband quickly missed the military life and joined as a Marine reservist with the local reserve unit. After September 11th, my husband’s unit was called up to support Operation Iraqi Freedom. He has deployed in 2003, 2005, and 2008. Most recently my husband was called up to support Operation Enduring Freedom with a deployment to Afghanistan.

This deployment has been like no other. Because of the troop draw down, election year, and the restructuring of troops my husband has been in limbo the past few months. He has been away training in Southern California since October.  We were excited about finally getting a flight window for the end of March, to quickly hear that my husband’s unit was now being pushed back and possibly going with another unit.  As it sits now we know he will deploy sometime in May, but have no idea what unit they will be attached to or for how long his deployment will be. Marines typically deploy for  7 months, but because this would push them over their existing 400 day orders, there may be a possibility they will spend a shorter amount of time overseas. The rumor of them actually not going over has also been thrown around. We all know that deployments NEVER get cancelled!

The hardest part about being a reservist family is that our families are spread out over many states. I am lucky to have a few close friends within 45 minutes of me, but lots of our connections take place via Facebook. Thank God for that! Our usual friends do not understand the lifestyle and often times don’t know how to help or be supportive. We all know as military spouses, we hate to ask for help! As I juggle three boys and their crazy schedules, I just wish one day the laundry fairy, the cook, and the house cleaner would show up. Wouldn’t our lives as military spouses be so much easier with the luxuries as those like the Kardashians have? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have an unlimited amount of money to jump on a plane when we wanted to visit with our husbands? Instead we bill-juggle and save enough money from each check so that we can see our husbands as they are stateside. Can you believe that I am ready for him to deploy overseas because of the expense of having him stateside and running two households? I buy groceries, he buys groceries. I save up money to entertain my boys and make time go by faster, and he is spending money going to dinner, visiting with friends, and just getting some relaxation time.

We have been very fortunate to get to see each other every 6 to 8 weeks during this crazy pre-deployment training. Looking forward to having my husband join us in Florida for some family fun in a few weeks before the long  “see ya later”. Until then I dream of the day when we will get to continue our lives as a family of 5.

Jen is the busy mom to three boys ages 1,9, and 12. She is the proud wife to a Marine GySgt and has been very active as a military spouse. She is currently going through her 6th deployment.  Jen has a passion in working with military families and writes about her daily life at her blog Beyond the Cammies. Jen loves to spend time with her boys, read, connect with other military spouses, and play with her three dogs. You can follow Jen by going to her blog www.beyondthecammies.com

Photo From Pure Romance Website

Rachel is a wonderful girl and a great sponsor of my blog. She is a consultant for a company called Pure Romance which is a company “dedicated to improving women’s intimate lives—and having fun while doing it!” She hosts parties at people’s houses or you can buy from her online.

Here is a little about what Rachel says about working for Pure Romance and hosting parties:

“One of the things I LOVE about Pure Romance is uplifting women!! Everyone thinks this is just another “naughty” business but we really specialize in pampering and bringing a love life back to life! They really train us on educating and empowering women. I really try to keep my presentations as close to PG-13 as possible. It’s just plain FUN!!

I love being in the ordering room and talking with women about how they really feel about their husband. It’s like therapy for them because I am a really good secret keeper. I take pride in knowing that someone on the edge of divorce because of lack of intimacy is now happily married (to the same person).”

Not only does the Pure Romance line sell intimate products, you can also buy products for beauty (makeup and perfume), bath, and massage! Their site says, “Pure Romance is proud to offer the best in bath, beauty, and bedroom accessories. We make it easy to shop discreetly for yourself, your spouse, a friend in need of some pampering, or bride-to-be preparing for her honeymoon.”

The cool thing about Rachel is that she is also a military spouse  AND a military veteran! She says, “I got out of the military 3 years ago (Active Duty) to be at home with my munchkins. Although I LOVED being an Airman, deploying every 6 months just wasn’t ideal with a family! My hubby is still in and we usually deployed together so I just didn’t want that for my boys.” What a wonderful sacrifice she made to be with her family!

If you are interested in any of the Pure Romance products you can host a party with Rachel.  She says, “My hostess gets the best deal of all. 10% of party sales in FREE product, up to 3 half priced items, and 10% off any order for 6 months. All this along with what I hand out at the show.” You can also shop her online website: www.rachelkovach.pureromance.com

Please enjoy this guest post from Kristen who blogs at Musings of a Curious Mind.

For busy moms, providing meals that are affordable and healthy yet kid-friendly can be a challenge. When you’re pushed for time, it’s all too easy to cut corners and rely on takeaways, ready meals and packaged foods which are high in sugar, salt and preservatives. You might find yourself making nightly trips to the grocery store to pick up something for dinner, and coming back with a whole host of groceries you didn’t plan to buy. Lots of these are never used and eventually spoil. Pre-packaged meals are also often more expensive than meals made from scratch – you’re paying for the convenience. If you want to provide your family with food that tastes great, does them good, and that they’ll enjoy eating, meal planning is absolutely essential.

One way to simplify meal planning is to establish theme nights for family dinners for every day of the week – for example, spaghetti on Monday, pizza on Wednesday, burgers on Friday, and so on. This takes all of the guesswork out of nightly meals. Getting the family to help pick what they like can make everyone happy. In addition, it means that you can stock up on the ingredients you’ll need for several weeks: for example, parmesan cheese, herbs, tomato paste, whole wheat flour and toppings for pizza night. This means fewer trips to the grocery store, which will definitely save you money in the long term. It also enables you to buy only the ingredients that you’ll need for these planned meals, so you’ll have less food spoilage. Also, better and fresh ingredients rich with vitamins and antioxidants can help guard against cardiovascular disease, cancer such as various types of mesothelioma and dementia.

Go through your favorite recipe books. You should try to involve your kids as much as possible in the selection of meals – the more involved they feel, the more likely they are to eat the food once it’s served. You can also try online recipe databases for more inspiration. Pick seven dishes that are versatile enough that they won’t become boring, but don’t require dozens of ingredients or hours of preparation. The aim of this exercise is to save you money and time. Once you’ve amassed your recipes, write out the plan for the week, and what meal you intend to cook each night. Check this against any appointments or events to avoid clashes. Draw up a grocery list for the week’s meals, and if possible try to plan where you can use leftovers and surplus perishable food such as meat. You can switch up your meal plans every month to make it more fun and keep your kids from getting bored.

Kristin Wells is a recent college graduate from The University of Georgia and an aspiring writer. She wants to make a difference in people’s lives through her writing. Kristin also likes competitive cycling, running, and traveling as much as possible.

 

 

Credit: http://beautyineverything.com/2034969945

He was supposed to be home today. Got the news last week that he wouldn’t be. Sure, I know these things change, but what’s wrong with hoping this one thing wouldn’t change? That this one thing would stay right? Sure, it’s only delayed a little bit – if it doesn’t change again, but to me it feels like another eternity. I’m done.

I don’t want to do this anymore…

I don’t want to be strong anymore.

I don’t want to hear people ask me when he’s coming home anymore.

I don’t want to be a single parent anymore.

I don’t want to hurry up and wait.

I don’t want to be  patient.

I don’t want to go anywhere or do anything.

I don’t want to stay home in this silent house anymore.

I don’t want to try and post upbeat Facebook statuses.

I don’t want to pretend everything is ok.

I don’t want to make it through another week.

I don’t want to make it through another day without him.

I don’t want to. But I will.

I looked up to see what the words “spice up” meant and I found it means: “To make something more interesting, lively, or sexy.” And that is exactly what this list holds. I hope you enjoy!

1. Hold hands. Not only hold hands, but hold hands at a least unexpected time and surprise your spouse.
2. Use candles and rose petals. Need I say more..? Come on it’s not as cheesy as it sounds. I’ve Kissed the Ground You’ve Walked On
3. Have a date night. It doesn’t have to be once a week, it can be even just once or twice a month, but utilize it! There are plenty of ideas around the internet that are cheap, fun, and even some ideas you can do at home! Creative Ideas for Romance on a Budget, The Dating Divas: Strengthening Marriages One Date at a Time, Can of Dates, Date Night Gift Idea, 30 Ideas for a Date Night at Home, Never a Dull Date & 101 Date Ideas.
4. Ask Questions. 50 Questions to Ask Your Spouse on a Date Night & Get to Know Your Spouse Questionnaire.
   
5. Leave love notes. Leave them around the house, in the car, in your spouse’s lunch bag… Be creative! Post-It Love & Candy Bar Love Notes
6. Be spontaneous. Do something spur of the moment that you don’t do very often or have never done before.
7. Take a vacation. Just you and your spouse. Even if it’s just one night away at a local hotel. You know it will be fun…
8. Surprise your spouse. 10 Ways to Surprise Your Spouse
9. Flirt. You know you used to do it and you can do it again! Five Ways to Flirt With Your Husband
10. Change up your bedroom. Make your bedroom a sanctuary. One for you and your spouse that is special for you both. Make it a place where you can get away, where the children aren’t allowed, and where you can feel at peace and rest. Romantic Tips for the Bedroom
11. Save for your dream vacation – in a very unique way! All you need is a dollar… and A Small Metal Box.
12. Say, “I love you.” 101 Ways to Tell Your Husband, “I Love You” & 50 Ways to Show Your Husband You Love Him
13. Text. Use your phone to send your honey special messages just for him. If your spouse can’t use their phone at work during the day, leave texts for them to find when they get out of work.
    
14. Make a “Together Let’s…” List. Together Let’s…
15. Make Love. 29 days to great sex.
16. Make the best of the holidays. 12 Lays of Christmas & A Very Grown-Up Christmas
17. Dress up. Have a dress-up date. Wear something fancy and convince your husband to wear a suit and tie. Go out on the town or stay home and have a romantic dinner.
18. Take a challenge. “31 Days of Love” Marriage Challenge
19. Play a game. The Game of Love & The Newlywed Game
20. Pray together. Ok I know this doesn’t seem to fit in with the rest of the list, but I promise you, once you start praying together you will start to feel closer to each other. You will see a difference.
    
21. Inspire each other. 50 Ways to Inspire Your Husband
22. Leave each other messages.  “Love” Message Board
23. Have a sleep over! Slumber Party… for 2
24. Read a book. The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, & Kiss Me Like You Mean It.
    
25. Set up a romantic dinner at home. Make your spouse’s favorite dinner. Use your pretty glasses from your wedding. Make it a theme. “Hungry for Your Love” Romantic Dinner at Home
26. Keep a traveling journal. 10 Things that Have Made All the Difference
27. Get a massage together.
28. Give your spouse a massage.
29. Try something new. Adding a Little Variety
30. Use love quotes and lyrics. Ever hear a song or see a quote that just describes your relationship perfectly? Look them up and use it in a love note to your spouse, or find it in print and frame it in your room. Quotes and lyrics have the power to let you tell your spouse how much you love them even if you can’t find the right words to say. 75 Quotes on Love, Marriage, and Relationships
31. Kiss. Not just a peck on the cheek, but a real kiss. Kiss like today is the last day you will ever see your spouse again.

A. “Destruction or surrender of something for the sake of something [or someone] else.”
or
B. “Something given up or lost.”

When you are a mother, you give up a lot. This being my first child, I hadn’t really thought about it, but being a stay-at-home mom can be a sacrifice. Some sacrifice their job or having more money so that they can stay home with their child. Others give up their time, and the life they had before their child came along.

I don’t believe that being a mom is the only thing that should define you. Of course you should have other hopes and dreams too, but sometimes those are put on hold until your child is older or until another point in your life and sometimes you have to just let them go.

In the past few weeks it’s like it’s finally clicked with me. I can’t have everything I want. Something has to be put aside for later or be let go for good. As I blogged about it last week (Living with SPD), my son has SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder). We are only just beginning to understand all the symptoms and effects. But I am only just now understanding the time, work and sacrifices we are going to have to make to help him.

Although Adam has made great progress in his occupational therapy, and at times he has tried small amounts of food during his feeding therapy sessions, he has not progressed at all in his feeding therapy. He has been in therapy since last September and he does not eat any more foods then he did when we started.

Several weeks ago I called his therapist upset and at a loss for what else we can be doing to help Adam. He is sick all the time – literally every two weeks sometimes more. He barely eats when he is well, and doesn’t eat at all when he’s sick. Meal times are not any better, he throws food on the floor cried if he doesn’t like what I give him, and sometimes just sits there and eats nothing. It’s disheartening.

His therapist told me that she is doing everything she knows and there is nothing else she can do. She is now recommending that we get Adam on the waiting list at a place called The Marcus Institute in Atlanta for their intensive feeding program. It’s 7 hours a day for 6-8 weeks which means we would have to live there. And by “we” I mean Adam and I. My husband would obviously have to stay here and work.

According to the website the majority of children who go through this program, “…leave eating 19 foods, including at least four fruits, four vegetables, four starches and four proteins.” That is just huge. Right now Adam doesn’t really eat any of those and just the thought that this program might help him, gives me hope.

Everyone says it’s a good thing, and I know that and I do want to do this, but I am so scared. I have so many unanswered questions. Questions such as:

• Will Tricare even cover this?
• Where will we stay for those 2 months?
• Where will we get the money for this, plus for a place to stay, for food, and gas?
• If I am using our only car, how will my husband get to work every day, church, and to the grocery store?
• Do I really want to be apart from him my husband for another 2 months so soon after deployment?

And these are just a few of my thoughts… But after talking to my husband a little about it best we could over Skype, and asking his pediatrician what his thoughts were, we have decided to go ahead and get this process going to get him on the list. I am realizing that this is why God have me the word “Trust” for this year, because this is going to take more trust than I can possibly imagine. It’s going to take a miracle.

Adam’s pediatrician already submitted a referral to Tricare to see if they cover it. I called The Marcus Institute last week and the paperwork arrived today- 12 pages about Adam’s history and feeding. I also need to make copies of all his current therapy evaluations, his weight chart papers, and I am in the process of typing out all the food charts we have saved since last October that have what Adam has been eating at each meal.

There is a huge waiting list to get in so the the number one thing is to fill out this paperwork and get it all back to them. After that we will get a call to set up an appointment for an evaluation. After we hear from the insurance about their coverage and after The Marcus Institute goes over his evaluation and determines what he needs, then we will get on the list and go from there. I have heard from a friend that there is a possibility we might be able to stay at the Ronald Mcdonald house in Atlanta during those two months. They cover most of your food and housing so I am hoping that it might work out.

I am realizing how much work this is going to take, how much work it has taken over the past 6 months, but I know it’s not over. I have come to terms with the fact that Adam is a special needs child, and I am ok with that. He is my adorable little boy, smart, happy, and very loved by me and his daddy. He just needs a little extra help in some areas. And that is why God gave me a heart to be stay-at-home mom with him for a reason.

There have been things I have already had to give up and say “no” to because I realized I am just not going be able to do them. One of them was very very hard for me, but I have felt the Lord leading me to do so for awhile now, and I finally listened and understand why. Adam and his health has to come first.

I also learned that most likely we will have to sign him up for the EFMP program on the base. Which means that if Adam is on it then the military can’t move us anywhere where Adam can’t get help and therapy. It’s a good thing, but the problem is, once on it we most likely won’t be able to move overseas which is one of my husband’s biggest dreams. It’s a disappointment but we know that there will probably be future opportunities for that. We just have to wait and be patient.

God is teaching me a lot. and it’s going to be interesting trying to see what follows and what God does in our lives. I will be blogging about our journey to The Marcus Institute in the coming months and I hope that you will following along with us and watch and see what happens. We appreciate your prayers along the way.

Today, I have Aprille guest posting with another post about reintegration for military families. Enjoy!

A military family that has gone through a deployment is much like a puzzle that has been wrecked and the pieces scrambled. After the deployment, the family has to put their puzzle back together. Here are some tips to help you through this process:

1. Realize that the puzzle you are putting back together is going to look different than it did before. Your family will never be the same as it was, or function in the same way as it did, before this separation. Your “new normal” is going to look different from your “old normal.”

2. Put the border together first. Find all the straight pieces, the easy ones, the ones you know haven’t changed. “We love each other. He’s home safe. Nothing else matters.” You might not feel “in love” or always see all the results of your love, but you have to know it’s there. The rest of the pieces may be scattered– it might not look like you can EVER put it back together. But you still have the border, and that’s a start!

3. Focus on connecting one piece at a time. For us, it’s simple things like holding hands or fixing my husband’s coffee. It’s small, but it’s a connection. Little by little, the more connections you make, the closer you are to putting that whole puzzle back together.

4. Set aside the hard sections that you are struggling to connect and come back to them when you have more of the puzzle put together. Remember that there is no “set time” to how quickly you should reintegrate. It takes time. Don’t brush problems under the rug or ignore them completely, but recognize that not everything is going to connect easily and quickly.

5. Don’t compare your puzzle to others’. The Smith’s might only have 100 pieces in their puzzle while you have 1000 in yours. Things like children, combat stress, unit casualties, pregnancy, or a new baby add pieces to the puzzle. The Smith’s puzzle might look better than yours – you might even be able to see their whole picture when you can’t see yours. But it doesn’t matter. Focus on YOUR puzzle.

6. Don’t be afraid to ask for help in putting your puzzle back together. Puzzles usually get put together faster when there are more hands involved. Sometimes, you just need someone to ask, “Have you considered flipping this piece upside down? I think it would actually fit there!” Having objective help can be crucial in seeing the big picture. It is very rare that a military family would NOT need some sort of outside mediation to help them reintegrate. Please don’t be too proud (or ashamed) to ask for help with the tough sections of your puzzle.

Above all, remember that you love each other and it doesn’t have to be perfect. Give it time.

“When you figure out love is all that matters after all, it sure makes everything else seem so small.”  (So Small by Carrie Underwood)

Aprille is a 5-year Active Duty Army spouse going through reintegration after her husband’s second year-long deployment to Afghanistan. She and her husband Russ have been married for four years and they have a 19-month-old son Ezra. This post was written with the collaboration of her husband. You can read more about their military life together at http://www.beautifulinhistime.com/blog.php