Military relationships are hard. The long hours, the distance, the lack of intimacy at times… There is no other job in the world that requires a spouse to be away from their family for months at a time. Deployments seem to last forever and are difficult to the couples trying to maintain a connection while being separated by thousands of miles.
Then there’s a whole other group of military families who are dealing with a changed reality when their loved one returns home from war injured. All of the sudden a spouse and parent finds themselves in the position of having to take on a new role, caretaker. Even for the closest couples, over time these military realities can add stress to the relationship.
Hope For The Warriors can help! Hope For The Warriors provides comprehensive support programs for service members, veterans, and military families that are focused on transition, health and wellness, peer engagement, and connections to community resources.
Patti Katter is a Certified Life Coach as well as the Military and Program Coordinator at Hope For The Warriors. She works with military families and provided a few tips for Singing Through The Rain readers on how military couples can maintain intimacy after a spouse returns home from war. While Patti’s work is primarily with couples that include an injured military veteran, many of her tips are helpful for any couple!
How to Find More Intimacy in Your Military Marriage
Speak up and express your wants and needs to your partner. Tell your partner what you will need in order to rebuild or continue intimacy in the relationship.
Sometimes you will need to take the first step and make the first move. Your partner, due to their injury or illness, may not even be thinking about your sexual needs or their own. You may need to be bold and assertive!
Try something new. Perhaps changes need to be made in the approach to sharing intimate moments with your partner. Discuss with your partner new ways to build excitement and trust. Sometimes a change in routine can create new bonds.
Just do it. It is so important to continue to strive for a level of intimacy within the relationship.
Intimacy is so important, especially in a military marriage. If you need help, apply for services offered by Hope For The Warriors. To volunteer or donate, visit: www.hopeforthewarriors.org.
What do YOU think? Is this an area of struggle in your military marriage? What are some tips you have for having intimacy with your spouse?