It’s been exactly two years since my book, Journey Through Deployment: Stepping Forward With Confidence During Military Separations came out. I have sold over 400 copies and have gotten so many positive reviews. I am so glad that I have been able to help and encourage so many spouses through this book.
Here is just one of the reviews my book received, you can read many more Amazon.com.
This book was fantastic! Journey Through Deployment was an exceptional display of what we as military spouses go through! This book is a great tool for anyone who is about to go through a deployment. Anyone who is familiar with deployments can also find comfort in this book to help guide you when we need it most. I have been through many deployments and I continue to utilize this book each time to help me keep my life organized when it is most stressful. I highly recommend this book to anyone looking for support, knowledge, and preparedness for the beginning, middle, and end of deployments!”
I have never put my book up for sale and I thought now is the perfect time – just in time for Christmas! So from now until December 15th you can get my book on sale. It’s the perfect stocking stuffer or gift for the military spouse on your list! Get the book $3.00 OFF with CODE: LY9Q9G9T. Promotion only available for purchase through: https://www.createspace.com/4816897.
And just because I love you all, I wanted to offer a FREE chapter for you to read. I hope this encourages you to read the book and find out more!
Journey Through Deployment Book Chapter:
Emotional Stages of Pre-deployment
So you have the deployment orders. You even may have an official departure date. Now it’s time to deal with and work through all the emotions you’re feeling. You have to learn how to cope.
I’ve watched a lot friends go through deployment. I have seen different people deal with the news, deal with the pre-deployment stress, emotions, and anything else that comes along the way. Everyone deals with these situations differently and there are many emotional stages that military spouses go through before deployment.
If you have gone through a deployment before, these might sound familiar or maybe you might relate better to one of these 7 Stages of Emotional Deployment. Here are the emotional stages I went through upon receiving news of my husband’s deployment. You may have experienced something similar if you have been through a deployment, or you might experience something completely different. We all handle deployment in different ways.
Your spouse comes home with orders and tells you they will be deploying. You think:
This is a joke.
They’re just kidding, right?
There is no way they got orders…again.
Nope, there must have been a mistake.
Surely there was a mix-up.
These are really for someone else. I just know they are.
After your spouse assures you it’s not a joke, you move on to the next stage. You think:
I can’t believe this is happening.
How could this happen so soon?
Why did this happen to us?
I just can’t believe it.
Maybe this is just a dream…
*Pinch* Nope, definitely not a dream.
Soon, your disbelief turns into anger. You are looking for someone to blame, so you blame the military and maybe even your spouse. You think:
I hate the military.
I hate this life.
Why did my spouse choose this?
Why are they leaving me?
They can’t leave me like this.
I can’t do this on my own.
We will never get this time back again.
I will never get past this.
Then, your anger turns to sadness, and eventually, tears. You think:
I can’t do this.
I don’t want to do this.
I don’t want to be alone.
What am I going to do?
What happens if something goes wrong?
What if there is an emergency?
I CANNOT do this!
But in the end, you slowly move into acceptance. You know it’s happening whether you want it to or not. You think:
Okay, I can do this.
I don’t want to do this, but I can do this.
We are going to make it through.
Let’s get this deployment going.
The sooner they are gone, the sooner they can be back.
You get the countdowns ready, make all your plans, keep busy, and you do it. And you do it well. You are a military spouse and you can get through this!
You may be thinking, “This all sounds great, but how do I work through all of that?” The answer: with time and a lot of patience. Some days may seem better than others; sometimes you may think you have moved through a stage only to backtrack one or two. That’s okay. Eventually, you will move to acceptance, and with that acceptance, comes peace.
Keep in mind your spouse will be working through his own emotions. He may not admit it, but he has to go through some emotional stages as well. He wants to make sure his family is going to be well cared for and that you are going to be emotionally strong enough for him to leave behind. Be there for each other. Work together through this roller coaster of emotions. You may find it draws you both closer together than you ever imagined!
The Reality of Deployment
As you get closer to your spouse’s deployment, reality will set in. Your head may be telling you, I can’t do this. But in your heart, I think you know that’s not true. You can do this–even if it’s hard. You will do this and you will do it well!
The reality of deployment hit me hard.
I wished…he could stay here and never leave again.
Reality was…that just couldn’t happen. Every family has some kind of time apart even if sometimes it is short and sometimes it is long.
I wished…I had family that lived closer to help me get through.
Reality was…I didn’t. Not everyone can live close to their family. I couldn’t always depend on family; I had to learn to be independent.
I wished…that the deployment was shorter.
Reality is…it could have been longer, and I should have been thankful.
I wished…there was a better time for this to happen.
Reality was…there will never be a better time for a deployment.
I wished…I didn’t have to do this.
Reality was…I didn’t really have an option. I learned that I would get through it because I had to, and because God was with me.
God knew a long time ago that your deployment would come. Maybe the things that have happened in your life have prepared you to be stronger so that you could get through this with God’s help.
A deployment is a big deal. Being a single parent for the next several months or longer is a big deal, but at the end of this, you are going to be a stronger person. You are going to be able to say, “God is good no matter what.” You are going to be able to look back at what you overcame and say, “Wow. I did that.”
No military spouse wants to deal with deployment, but the reality is we have no choice in the matter. But maybe, just maybe, something good will come from this. God is in control and He knows what is going to happen.
The reality is it won’t be easy. The reality is that it’s going to be really hard. But there is also the reality that God is still here and walking alongside you. You are not alone.