Before my son was born, I had many many plans. I had it all worked out how I was going to raise him, where he would go to school and when, and how things would turn out. The funny thing is God had plans too, His always trump my own and are always better too.
I never planned to have a special needs little boy, but here we are on this journey and what a journey it has been! God has continually shown me that no matter what plans I have, He knows best and I need to stop trying to control everything and give it all over to Him. Where and when my son goes to school was one of those things.
When we first had my son, we figured the military would have moved us by the time we ever needed to make a decision about school. I thought we had plenty of time. My mom did pre-k and kindergarten with me and then sent me off to first grade at our Christian school and I guess I had always thought I would do the same for my kids. I would teach them how to read and all their first letters and numbers and then off to a Christian school they would go.
But with an autistic little boy things did not go as planned. We were quickly thrown into therapies, and IEP’s and talk of public schools, school zones, and bus routes. We realized that with Adam being a very social person he needed to be around his peers. He learns best by watching others – and others his own age are the best for helping him with that. So special needs half-day school was the choice we made for now.
I never planned on sending my baby – my 3 year old to school so early, but here we are at the first day of school. We talked about it for weeks and went to visit the classroom to help him adjust. And my nerves were a wreck waiting for this day to come. I knew I made the right decision, but how does one let their baby go? I felt like I was leaving him with a stranger – a trained teacher, but a stranger just the same. One who does not know all his special needs, or know his little sounds that only we as parents understand.
So I had to let go and give God control. God led us in this direction, he wouldn’t forsake us now. As I sit here waiting of the time to tick by so I can go pick him up from his first half-day at school, I realize that my son won’t even be able to tell me about his day or how it went or how he liked it. I know one day he will be able to talk better and until then I am back to trusting. Trusting that God will make sure the teachers take good care of my little boy and trusting that everything will be fine.