Because I am still visiting with family and traveling I will be having a few more guest blog posts for your reading pleasure! Today I have Jessica from Jessica Lynn Writes. She has a wonderful post for you about being a military wife and trying for her first baby. I really loved this post because it is very similar to one I recently wrote: The Great Baby Debate. I hope you enjoy!
Hi! I’m Jessica and I ramble over at Jessica Lynn Writes. I have to admit, the post below is pretty personal and I haven’t even shared these thoughts over on my blog yet. It may sound strange, but there’s something a little bit comforting about telling complete strangers our baby-making predicament.
Before we got married my husband and I talked about all the big-ticket issues to make sure we were on the same page for everything. Since he’s in the Air Force he explained the possible situation with starting a family so I wouldn’t be blindsided later. We’re pretty blunt and realistic with each other; so he didn’t hesitate or tiptoe around his words. He flat out told me that he would probably only get to be around for the conception or the birth, but not both. Yikes. It was a pretty serious discussion, but since we were still in my early 20s at the time, I didn’t think much of it. I pushed the thought aside and figured that when we started longing for a baby he would magically be by my side the whole time.
But here I am, now in my late 20s, and we’re both yearning for a child. (Yearning isn’t a strong enough word—let’s just say that we’re drawn to babies like magnets these days, and it’s really, really hard to pull us away.) Unfortunately, that chat we had ages ago about starting a family is coming true right before our eyes. No, I’m not pregnant yet, but the military is definitely meddling with our plans.
Later this year my husband will deploy for six months, and the last time I checked, it takes nine(ish) months to grow a baby. If he wants to be home for the birth we’d have about three months (right before he leaves) to have lots and lots and lots of fun in the bedroom and pray I get pregnant. If there isn’t a bun baking in my oven by the time he leaves it’ll be a long six months until we can even think about trying again.
Three months. We ideally only have three months to try, and if we start trying any sooner than that then he’ll miss the birth. I guess now would be a good time to also mention that we recently moved to Italy, my family is literally thousands of miles away, and I’m still working on making friendships out here. Let’s just say that the thought of going through my first pregnancy in a foreign country and without family, friends-who-are-like-a-second-
The most ridiculous part is that deep down I know I’d be able to do it. Being a military spouse—even for a short period of time—has taught me that I am actually much stronger than I think I am. I will have support here and the friends I have will quickly become my family. “I don’t think I could do it” is a phrase I commonly hear people say to military spouses and my response is always the same: “You could do it, because you have to.” If I get pregnant and don’t have my husband by my side I wouldn’t have option, so I’d have to do it. Period. Dot. End of story.
We know there is no perfect time to have a baby—add in the military and you can forget about planning. Not to mention, we don’t even know if I can get pregnant (a whole other worry of mine). My resolution on the baby front is to “let go and let God.” I need to let go of my worries and desires to plan this out, let whatever happens, happen, and trust everything will work out. I believe in His timing and that He’ll be with me through all of this, especially if my husband is off playing in the sandbox when I need and want him the most.
With all that said, we are currently playing with baby-making fire (so to speak), and not exactly trying to prevent a pregnancy. This is a huge, crazy step for us, especially taking in all of the factors above.
So tell me, have you “been there and done that” with our situation before?
Jessica Lynn is a twenty-something Air Force wife who’s addicted to spicy food and potato chips and absolutely detests humidity. She, along with her husband and puppy, now live in Northern Italy and are enjoying getting to know their new surroundings one sip of wine at a time. You can read about her adventures in Europe, life as an Air Force wife, good eats, getting healthy, life, love, and everything in between at Jessica Lynn Writes. (http://www.jessicalynnwrites.